The Six Letter Word
by JBS-Forever
Summary: He just wished someone would say it and stop pretending that everything was all right. He was dying. And if the surgery didn't work, there would be no other chances. One-shot.


**Very random story I wrote because I saw 50/50. Totally hijacked a scene from it :)**

**Please excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes. It's six in the morning and I haven't gone to bed yet.**

**I enjoy brownies. That is all.**

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Fifty fifty. The words echoed in Darry's head. There was a fifty percent chance. He didn't want that. He wanted a one hundred percent chance. It wasn't possible though. The doctor told him that plenty of times, yet he didn't want to except it.

The cancer had already spread too far. The words broke Sodapop's heart. How could they not have seen it earlier? How could they not have noticed the signs? Looking back, it seemed obvious to him. But it hadn't been. It hadn't been obvious to anyone.

Surgery. It was the only thought Ponyboy could keep focused. It was too late for any other options. That's what the doctor told him. But if the surgery didn't work, there _were_ no other options. Even the surgery was risky and the chances of surviving it were in the low end. He knew what everyone was scared to say. He was dying.

"Ponyboy, dinner time."

Sodapop set the table as Darry came out and put food down. They heard Ponyboy open his door and come down the hall, humming softly to himself. He dragged his fingertips along the wall, tapping them lightly with the beat of whatever song was in his head.

He and Sodapop sat down while Darry finished bringing in the rest of the food. Sodapop couldn't help but examine his little brother. His face was paler, his eyes had circles underneath them. He looked sick, but he didn't ever admit how he was feeling. He was tough, Soda couldn't deny it. He was handling it better than any of them.

"How're you doin' today, Pone?" Darry asked as he sat down. Ponyboy grabbed his fork and poked at something on his plate.

"I'm ok," He said, giving Darry a reassuring smile. It didn't make Darry feel better though.

"How bad does it hurt?"

Ponyboy shrugged. "It don't hurt that bad right now. I took some pain stuff."

"How long ago?"

"Darry," Ponyboy sighed in annoyance.

"How much did you take? Cause the doc gave you a specific amount and-"

Ponyboy set his fork down and rubbed his forehead, sighing again. "Dar, stop. Please."

Darry gave him a look and then glared down at his plate. Sodapop cut in, trying to ease some of the tension. "He just cares about you, Pone."

Ponyboy ran a hand over his face. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just…I ain't a baby. I can take care of myself."

"You're sick, Ponyboy," Darry said. "I'm just tryin' to do all I can."

Ponyboy nodded, but didn't say anything more.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Hey kid, how're you feelin'?" Two-Bit asked as he walked into the house, spotting Ponyboy on the couch reading a book. He walked over and flipped the TV on, sitting down next to him.

"I'm awesome," Ponyboy said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he spoke without looking up. Two-Bit took his gaze away from the screen and focused on Ponyboy. He was rubbing his forehead absentmindedly, a grimace on his face. Two-Bit reached forward and pushed his book down gently.

"What hurts?"

Ponyboy groaned in frustration and shut the book, tossing it onto the coffee table. He leaned his head forward into his hands, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Don't worry about it. I took those pills. They just haven't kicked in yet." Ponyboy sighed. "I'm so done with all this."

Two-Bit put a hand on his back and spoke softly. "It's gonna be ok, Ponyboy. You're gonna start feelin' better soon and you'll be up and about just like normal."

Ponyboy scoffed and brought his head up. "Thanks, Two-Bit, but it's a load of bull."

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone keeps sayin' that. That I'll feel better and that it's ok, but it's not, you know? None of this is ok."

"Pone-"

"It's like everyone's afraid to admit that I'm dyin'. It makes it worse. I'm ok with it, really, I am. I just wish everyone would stop walkin' on eggshells around me."

"You stop your talkin' like that," Two-Bit said sharply. "You ain't gonna die. You hear me? You ain't gonna die."

Ponyboy stood up slowly, using the couch for help. "Thanks Two-Bit, but I think you're tryin' more to convince yourself than me."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Ponyboy," Sodapop said. "Hey kiddo, wake up."

Ponyboy didn't move. Sodapop sat down on the edge of the bed and shook his shoulder. "C'mon, Pone."

Ponyboy moaned this time and rolled away from him, mumbling something. Sodapop smiled sadly and rubbed his back. "C'mon, Ponyboy. You have a doctor's appointment."

"Too tired," Ponyboy said sleepily. "Go without me."

Soda laughed. "Ponyboy, it's _your _appointment. And if you don't get up, Darry's gonna come in here."

Ponyboy rolled onto his back and forced his eyes open. "You're evil."

"Thanks," Soda grinned. "Now go get dressed."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"What are his chances?" Two-Bit asked Darry in the kitchen.

"With the surgery? There's a fifty fifty chance that after the surgery the cancer will be gone. There's also a forty percent chance that he won't make it through the surgery. It's dangerous."

"Does he have to have it? Can't they do chemo or whatever that is?"

"They tried," Darry sighed. "It's too far along though. They have to operate."

"No chances?"

Darry shook his head. "No chances."

"What if the surgery doesn't fix it? What if he comes out ok, but the cancer is still there?"

Darry looked up at the ceiling, keeping his tears at bay. "There's nothin' else they can do. If it's still there after the surgery, he's got…I believe they gave him three months before…"

"Don't say it, Dar. Please, for the love of everything, just don't say that."

"Ok, Two-Bit. Ok." Darry patted his shoulder gently.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Where's Sodapop?" Ponyboy asked, stepping out onto the porch. "I thought he was takin' me?"

"Nope," Two-Bit said. "Just ol' Steve and me. Soda has to work, so you get to learn to drive the cool way."

Ponyboy raised an eyebrow. "Did Soda agree to this?"

"Course he did," Steve said, flicking the butt of his cigarette away. "C'mon, let's go see what you got."

"All right." Ponyboy agreed with a shrug, following them to the truck. They drove him to the empty parking lot that he usually practiced in. Two-Bit got out while Ponyboy moved to the driver's seat, Steve sitting on the passenger side.

"Ok, I'm gonna stay out here. Let's see how well you park. Help him out, Steve," Two-Bit said.

"Sure," Steve replied. Two-Bit shut the door and Ponyboy moved his seat forward. Before Steve could tell him what to do, Ponyboy shifted the car into drive and stepped on the gas pedal.

"Kid, what're you doin'?" Steve asked. Ponyboy ignored him and headed towards the exit of the parking lot. He turned sharply out onto the road.

"Take a left! This is a one way street!"

Ponyboy didn't stop. The cars heading towards them honked and swerved out of the way. Steve looked at Ponyboy in a panic.

"Ponyboy, stop! Stop!" Steve grabbed the emergency break and yanked it, sending them screeching to a halt. Ponyboy was gripping the steering wheel hard, not looking at him.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get out!" Ponyboy yelled, moving himself over and hitting Steve repeatedly. He wasn't hitting hard, just enough to annoy him into moving.

"Ok, ok!" Steve hopped out of the car and shut the door. Ponyboy locked it and sat back again, not moving for a moment. Two-Bit was running towards them when Ponyboy finally lost it.

He started hitting the steering wheel, flinging his arms to hit anything else that he could. He punched the dashboard and fisted his hands into his hair, pulling it as if he was going to rip it out. He screamed. A long, painful scream, unlike anything that Steve and Two-Bit had ever heard before.

And then it was over. Two-Bit hurried to the other side of the car and opened the driver's door. He slid in and put an arm around Ponyboy, pulling the crying boy close.

"It's all right," He said gently. "It's all right."

"I just want it to be over," Ponyboy whispered. "I'm so fuckin' tired of bein' sick."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"He nearly killed himself and Steve."

"What? What happened?" Sodapop asked.

"Kid lost it, Sodapop," Steve said. "Pulled out of the parkin' lot and turned the wrong way on a one way street. I had to pull the e-break just to get him to stop. Then he had a meltdown."

"A meltdown?"

Two-Bit cut back in. "He started hittin' everything and then…" He glanced at Steve, both of them sharing a look at the horrible memory of Ponyboy screaming the way he had. "He just broke down. It's about time, too."

"Yeah," Soda sighed. "His surgery's day after tomorrow. It is about time."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"You ready?"

Ponyboy nodded, fidgeting with his IV. Darry grabbed his hand and pulled it away. "Don't mess with it."

"Sorry," Ponyboy muttered. Sodapop ruffled his hair, giving him a smile. Two-Bit and Steve appeared from behind the curtain, coming into the space where Ponyboy was waiting.

"Hey," Steve greeted.

"You ready to rock this, Pone?" Two-Bit asked, faking cheerfulness for Ponyboy's sake. Ponyboy bit his fingernail nervously.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Knock knock," A voice said, coming in to the join them. It was Ponyboy's doctor and a nurse. "How're you feeling, Ponyboy?"

"I'm good," Ponyboy replied shakily, swallowing hard. The doctor gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Good. You signed the paperwork, yes?" Ponyboy nodded. The doctor checked something off on his clipboard. "Ok, we'll get you back in a few and start the surgery. You just relax and it'll be done before you know it."

"Thanks," Ponyboy smiled weakly. The nurse moved behind him.

"All right, I'm gonna give you the anesthesia. I'm administering it through your IV. It'll take a few moments before it works."

"How long does it last?" Ponyboy asked.

"That really depends on the person," The nurse answered.

"Well how do you know it'll last long enough? What if I wake up during the surgery? Or it stops working? How do you know I'm even asleep? What if-" Ponyboy burst into tears, reaching for his older brother's arm as he finally lost it. "Darry."

Darry kneeled down and cupped Ponyboy's face in his hands. "You're gonna be just fine, Ponyboy. You're gonna be ok."

He pulled Ponyboy close and let him cry onto his shoulder until another nurse entered and told him they needed to take Ponyboy back. Sodapop gave him a hug and told him he loved him and Darry did the same. Everyone said goodbye as the nurse wheeled him away and they were directed to a waiting room.

As Darry walked, he looked up at the ceiling. "Please don't take him. Don't take away another part of my family. Please…please."

Sodapop squeezed his shoulder gently. Everyone could only hope that his prayer was strong enough. Ponyboy had survived a lot of stuff. He just needed to survive one more.

* * *

><p><strong>The end. Now you can let your imagination finish it. ")<strong>


End file.
